If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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