I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
