I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
