apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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