eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
