My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
