Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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