Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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