Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
