I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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