Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
