Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
