I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
