i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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