people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
