uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.