Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring