Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.