the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
