Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
