last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
