sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
