Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
