I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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