If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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