I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
