Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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