did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
