I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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