There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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