she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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