There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
