where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tell her she can't have a vagina
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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