youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
