Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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