either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
