i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I need a burrito and a hug.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
