They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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