Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
