I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Randomize
