I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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