why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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