she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
