Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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