Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
God I need to hump something, right now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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