I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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