I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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