So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
