big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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