she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
being pregnant is like rehab
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
