so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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