your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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