With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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