Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
