Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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