There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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