Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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