i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
