Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
