So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
