Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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