I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize