And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
this hospital has no fireball
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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