This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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