This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
